


big in london

by skylights



Category: James Bond (Craig movies), James Bond (Movies), K-pop, Skyfall (2012) - Fandom
Genre: Crack, Crossover, Gen, Insanity, kpop made me do it, so OOC it hurts, you know who you are and I blame you
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-07
Updated: 2012-12-07
Packaged: 2017-11-20 13:19:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 696
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/585790
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skylights/pseuds/skylights
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In the way some people know not to ask others about the state of their family affairs, some people at Q branch know not to ask Q how many members Super Junior has.</p>
            </blockquote>





	big in london

**Author's Note:**

> Written as a twitter joke where I mentioned my crack!headcanon as Q being a closet K-pop fan. This will not be funny/legible (if at all) to people who have no knowledge of Korean pop music D; Sorry!

"What–," Bond says when he walks into the Q branch lab at 4am, "–in all seven hells is _this_?" On the main screen, a man in a suit is walking into what appears to be stables. 

"Oh, this?" Q has his back to the screen, obviously concentrating on something else as the video continues to play. Now, a carousel. And more horses. Also, what appears to be the Asian equivalent of a party bus for middle-aged women. "It's nothing, don't mind it."

"Is this _Korean_?"

"Spectacular linguistic skills, 007."

Bond draws a chair up and sits down in front of the screen.

  


* * *

  


"Play it again," is all Bond says because it's like a particularly horrific car accident that one simply cannot look away from. Especially that one scene with the elevator and the tubby man on the ground. Q makes a happy sound and presses play again.

  


* * *

  


(In the way some people know not to ask others about the state of their family affairs, some people at Q branch know not to ask Q how many members Super Junior has.

For the record, there will always be fifteen. 

God _dammit_ , Hankyung.)

  


* * *

  


"Gangnam is a very prestigious Korean district," Q explains in his you-must-listen-to-me voice, the one he reserves for explanations regarding dangerous weapons. 

"I…see," Bond says despite not really seeing at all in the slightest. On-screen, an orange-headed woman is appropriating a subway train as her personal strip stage. "But why are there horses? And…the hands, with the…thing." 

"That's the beauty of it," Q insists. "It's a social commentary."

"I see," Bond says again. He's trying, he really is, but it's _hard_. "What a fascinating...thing."

"It's a good thing, is it not?"

Now, Q is using his you-do-not-argue-with-me-on-this voice, the one that only makes an appearance when Bond questions his GPS-assisted direction giving. Now, there are people doing push-ups between the legs of dancing women.

"It…is."

"Very good, now I can show you Dong Bang Shin Ki."

Q has an unholy light in his eyes as he moves to click the next video and Bond wants to say "No, you really don't have to," but it's already loading and sweet god above in his lofty heavens above, there are grown men in animal suits dancing in a balloon-filled hell.

  


* * *

  


"Educational," is all Bond can say. It's 6am and he really doesn't want to know what Q does in his free time any more. "Extremely educational."

"Korea always does it best, don't they?" Q practically sighs.

The men on-screen this time are wearing outfits with neon trim and singing at Bond to give it to their Y. He has no idea what that even means and neither does he want to. At all. 

"I…yes."

  


* * *

  


(So what if Q sometimes hacks into the networks of terrorist cells to make every link they click redirect to Tri-Angle? If those people can blow up national monuments for shits and giggles, they really do deserve to see things like that.)

  


* * *

  


"Is that a woman?" Bond asks in a horrified sounding whisper. "The one with an umbrella in the cut out car?"

Q looks up from his own screen, having left Bond with his own personal playlist because this coding really isn't going to finish itself. He takes one glance at the glitter encrusted suits and honest to god _grins_.

"That's just Heechul," comes the cryptic answer.

  


* * *

  


"There are fans and there are _fans_ ," Q declares.

"Okay," Bond says, because there's really nothing left to say. In the span of three hours, he's seen more gyrating hips, bad hair and not-so-subtle homoerotic subtext covered in bad metaphors to last him a lifetime. 

"Then there are the non-SNSD fans, who are plebeians."

"Right."

Q cracks his knuckles and pulls up yet another video.

"No," Bond starts to whisper, but it's too late.

  


* * *

  


(The thing is, Q isn't an addict. No, not at all. So what if he can speak fluent Korean and has shares in one or eight major entertainment companies? And owns all versions of every album, every photobook of every band relevant to his interests? 

Q is merely…passionate. Besides, every person needs a hobby.)

**Author's Note:**

> I...yeah. My roots are actually in K-pop fandom, that's all I can say D; Sorry again, you deserve a reward if you're actually reading up to here.
> 
> Videos in the order they were mentioned:
> 
> [ Gangnam Style](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9bZkp7q19f0) by PSY  
> [ Balloons](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-JEwfk2OQnQ) by DBSK  
> [ Y](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xt11kOEhOMc) by MBLAQ  
> [ Tri-Angle](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GM8wZRaHXTg) by DBSK  
> [ Rokkugo](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K2CNJiAq_cY) by Super Junior T


End file.
